NEW WINNER FOR LAMEST CRACKER SURPRISE. [28 Dec 2009|12:57am] fordanglia [ mood | awake ] I totally forgot to mention that the toy inside my Christmas cracker this year was a paperclip, completely blowing 2006's failure out of the water. Beat that, bitches. 11 %

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Christmastime! [25 Dec 2009|10:29pm] fordanglia [ mood | sore ] I remember being a little kid and there was always one 'big ticket', must-have item, plus small gifts here and there. This year I received fewer than ten presents, which is 110% OK with me. It means I can keep track of my shit for once. I think the most expensive thing I got was a necklace from halfh0ur's mum. What a fabulous lady! My 'big ticket' item this year was the first two seasons of ALF on DVD from my own mum and step-dad. So happy! Hope to get three and four for my birthday in March. I have to be at work for 7:30 am tomorrow. Fuck you, Boxing Day. Let me get my Harry Potter calendar and get home in one piece. My cousin's six-year-old daughter beat the shit out of me in good-natured play. I think my nose is broken (she stole it, ate it, and pooped it out). Awesome! %

Good Morning. [24 Dec 2009|07:24am] fordanglia [ mood | cold ] The Boxing Day adverts in the newspaper make me wish I didn't have to be at work for 7:30 that morning. FFFFFUUUUUUU. I didn't get to see Santa this year. Bummer. Killing time while waiting for my hair to dry. eatmyphotons tipped me off to the following SA thread: The Most Bachelor Thing You've Ever Done. It's kind of the story of my life. I'm also super happy with the new boys at work. They're cheek-pinchingly adorable and absolutely keen to not suck at their job. If I were in grade ten I'd probably go out of my way to be BFF with them. Speaking of underage boys, it's really creepy when my younger co-workers try to point out cute boys in the food court. 'Come on, Britt, isn't he hot?' They say, and I'm all like, 'DUDE HE'S JAILBAIT ALL I SEE IS THE WAISTBAND OF HIS DIAPER.' I retaliate and point out someone who looks, oh, 23-27, and they say, 'So old. Gross.' With any luck, Mum will avoid the cardiac arrest of last year. She has that badass, $30 000 defibrillator implant now, but I'd still prefer she have the most uneventful day of her life. Thinking of her defibrillator reminds me of the time I went to La Vie En Rose to buy a plain bra, as the one I was wearing was cheap shit from Walmart I hadn't tried on first and needed to be rid of. The woman in the shop kept directing me to these bras with magnetic front closures, and all I could really say was, 'if I hug my mother while wearing that, I'll probably kill her'. It was lol. I was going to leave to take the bus at 8:00 AM, but my hair is still wet and I'm lazy and it's -30 °C I think I'll call a taxi. I've been cutting back on taxis, I swear! %

B-O-R-I-N-G [20 Dec 2009|11:54pm] fordanglia [ mood | hungry ] This story is boring. I went to the bar and had a really good time until my back started hurting so much I could barely stand. Some worthless sack of shit decided to help, by first patting my shoulder and asking what was wrong, following up with an unwanted hand up my skirt. I was too drunk and too hurt to do more than shove him off and move elsewhere, but dude, keep your cocksmacking hands out of my panties. I feel so gross about it you have no idea. Blaaagh maybe a bath in vinegar or Lysol or something will do the trick. Anyway, I saw two of my old BFFs, both there separately, both of whom I'd been good buddies with since we were four-years-old. A high school friend was serving, and another high school friend was there with his girlfriend, one of my old BFFs. I asked him to pass a rather vulgar message along to an old guy friend of mine. For the first time, I don't really feel bad for saying these things about this guy friend. It feels liberating, actually. bland, please be proud of me. I spent the day feeling pretty hungover. I left the club early (if 1:30 is early) in a cab due to massive amounts of pain and looking like a fool for it. Today was spent in and out of sleep with a hangover that didn't really go away until 8:00 PM. The kicker is that I didn't have very much to drink. This evening halfh0ur and I gorged like kings on Asia Buffet. It was amazing. Now I am hungry still, so Kraft Dinner at midnight is in order. No more booze until New Year's, if even then. I've never made good New Year's plans. I usually sleep through it. Ho hum. 1 %

Not-so-good Grief [18 Dec 2009|09:22pm] fordanglia [ mood | sore ] Tomorrow is a potluck at a co-worker's house that I've been looking forward to for weeks, as it's to be followed by dancing and frivolity I haven't experienced for a long time. I booked this weekend off ages ago. Super pumped. ... Until a shelf broke and everything heavy on it fell on me and now I'm in heaps of pain and off work and having to fill out workers' compensation forms and spend tomorrow night playing purse jockey. I'm so glad nothing hit my head, but cripes, everything else hurts. My chest, my wrists, my elbows, my foot and especially my back. I spent today away from both of my jobs and lay in bed wanting to die. I had planned to go to the doctor today, but when I was able to call Mum for a lift, it was too late. Tomorrow. I have lots of Tylenol 3 on hand, but it doesn't do much (unless the pain I feel is minimal compared to what it should be). THAT SHELF WAS SUPPOSED TO BE REPLACED LIKE, A YEAR AGO. As of today, we have brand new shelves. Whoopie. EDIT: Stolen from flax: 9 %

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